No one would argue that parenting is at times hard work. Many parents are not prepared for the difficult task, and when the child for whom they have such expectations – educational, emotional and physical – develops into a much more complex person, parents have many questions. Acknowledging some of the negative feelings of confusion, blame, guilt, embarrassment, isolation, fear, inadequacy, exhaustion and grief allow parents to find a sense of hope when they ask the question, ‘Am I doing too much or too little?’

Temperament

Temperament is set at birth. It cannot be change d but it can be managed. After a fifteen-year study of temperament in children, the Australian Institute of Family Studies report makes this statement: ‘Temperament plays a very important role in how children develop, especially in the school and emotional areas and it has long term effects on how well they adjust to life in the family, at school and in the wider environment”

As children develop, they are presented with a series of challenges in terms of learning and social skills. Some development involves gradual cumulative changes, such as in the development of language. Other development involves more distinct stages, where the child moves from being one kind of person to functioning in a quite different way, such as the change from constructing ideas in more concrete and literal ways to being able to think more abstractly. Whether the challenges emerge from gradual change or come at distinct stages in children's development, those challenges will create stress points for children, particularly those with difficult temperaments.

Discipline is having the courage to set appropriate rules and stay detached when implementing those rules, thus guiding your child towards responsible adulthood.

Firstly, let us look at the meaning of the word ‘discipline'. In the minds of many it has become synonymous with punishment. In fact, the word discipline comes from the Latin DISCIPLINA meaning to disciple, teach, instruct or guide. The true meaning of the word is one of a teacher instructing the pupil; a far cry from the meaning usually given to the word.

Children feel secure when parents give clear instructions, mean what they say and consistently follow through.

Developing strategies based on sound developmental principles and an awareness of a child's individuality, does not mean punishment is totally eliminated. Punishments for harmful behaviour may still be required, even if the behaviour is the result of a child's difficult temperament; for example, impulsively hitting a younger sibling. The goal is to think ahead and plan for the possibility of inappropriate behaviour due to difficult temperament. Intervening early with a management strategy may eliminate the need to punish the child later.

Tantrums usually come in two different types. One relates to a child’s temperament – temperamental and the other is used by the child to change their environment and achieve their demand - manipulative